Now I See You
by FateRogue
Summary: Snippets of the short time Sirius Black had with his daughter, Carina, all from his point of view.


**I thought to do snippets here of Sirius and Carina and the first time they met, the summer they lived together, and then, the last time they saw each other. It is all from Sirius's point of view, and the italics saying things like "fourth time, fifth time" don't mean the literal fifth or sixth time, but moments to remember, if you get what I mean. We all know how Carina felt about her father, but no one ever saw in Blackest of Souls how he felt about her, though it was assumed he loved her.**

 **Hopefully you guys enjoy this, but please give me feedback on if it's any good or not, because I have my doubts.**

 **To be the father of growing**

 **daughters is to understand**

 **something of what Yeats**

 **evokes with his imperishable**

 **phrase 'terrible beauty.'**

 **Nothing can make one so**

 **happily exhilarated or so**

 **frightened: it's a solid lesson in**

 **the limitations of self to realize**

 **that your heart is running**

 **around in someone else's**

 **body. It also makes me quite**

 **astonishingly calm at the**

 **thought of death: I know**

 **whom I would die to protect**

 **and I also understand that**

 **nobody but a lugubrious serf**

 **can possibly wish for a father**

 **who never goes away.**

 **–Christopher Hitchens**

 _The first time Sirius saw his daughter after his incarceration, after escaping Azkaban, it was when she had a wand pointed at his throat and her body angled before those of her friends', standing side by side with Harry Potter._

He could not help but stare, not really. His baby girl, his little Carina, was right here before him after twelve years, and he couldn't believe his eyes.

She was a rather tall thing for her age, at least the size of the Weasley boy, more so than even Harry by just a bit, with a long mane of raven hair and fair skin. Her features, so well defined for a girl just hitting her teen years, were already sharp, any baby fat already quickly on its way to disappearing as the months go by.

She was, perhaps, rather gangly, with longer limbs than she knew what to do with at the moment, and her body developing signs of womanhood, making his heart clench at the thought, for he had missed her childhood.

Her dark brows were turned down at him, arm quivering with what he knew to be fear, and yet she rolled her shoulders and pursed her lips, gripping her wand tighter.

"We have to kill him," Harry hissed at her, looking so much like James that it sent a shock through Sirius, who, once again, was struck with what else he had lost. His best friend, and then his godson. His green eyes blazed.

Carina's own gray, so much like his own, flashed as they snapped to the boy, regarding him.

Thirteen, and already so brave.

"I know," she said evenly.

Sirius could not believe either of them to be capable of killing, but he was glad, then, that his daughter had found friends to stick by her, especially one in his godson. As he let his gaze flit across them all, however, the four of them, he was reminded of his own past comrades and felt anger ignite in him again.

The rat. He needed the rat to make this okay, but how? He was being held at wandpoint, there were no real ways he could do this without harming them and getting himself hurt in the process.

It was just his luck when the door slammed open and Remus barrelled in with a cry of, "Expelliarmus!", catching every wand that shot toward him and stuffing them into his robe pocket.

Hastily, as he helped Sirius to his feet (for the man had not deigned to get up after his brawl with Harry), the darker man noticed the looks of utmost betrayal on each teenager's face, Carina's especially, as they all backed away.

"The rat," Sirius all but flung himself at Remus, partly overjoyed to have been believed, to see his old friend again, and another because he needed to get to Peter, for this was too important to waste. He muttered again, more harshly, "We need the rat. We need to get it, he has it, we need him—"

"Sirius," Remus said carefully, prying him away to hold him at arm's length. He, at least, looked calm enough, if a bit frazzled and worse for wear. "Don't you think they deserve to know why?"

Sirius jerked away from the man, gripping his hair as he paced, the screams in his mind only intensifying. They did not have much time, not at all, and he needed this, _needed_ to win them over, but that involved getting Peter, first…

"I already know why!" Harry raged, though he did not move from his spot, obviously knowing it would be a terrible idea. "Because he killed my parents, and he's come to finish me off, and maybe Carina, as well, for good measure!"

"Sirius never betrayed Lily and James, Harry," Remus ran a hand over his face, as though he couldn't believe how this could have happened to them, either. It was affecting him deeply as well.

"Yeah?" challenged Carina, and she was the one who moved, positioned herself just a bit in front of the reckless Harry, who looked ready to lunge again despite the consequences. "Then who did? Because this sounds like a load of rubbish!"

" _Peter Pettigrew,"_ Sirius spat, and his eyes fell upon the rat the Weasley boy was clutching protectively to his chest, cradling it with his uninjured arm. Oh, what he wouldn't give to rip that little vermin apart limb from limb, make him suffer…

"He's an animagus," the werewolf beside him was quick to explain, as always, lecturing. "He can change his form at will. Sirius was a dog, James, a stag, and Peter...he was a rat."

They should have known, thought Sirius, just because of that. A shifty little rat who would do anything to save his own skin.

"Peter was the secret keeper," Remus continued, wary as the children all huddled in their corner, watchful, conspiring in their own minds, trying to find a way out. He could tell, and so could Sirius; Carina had even glanced at the window once or twice, as if considering jumping. "Not Sirius. _He_ was the one who sold out Lily and James. _He_ was the one who killed those muggles."

"How long have you had that rat for, boy?" Sirius barked at the Weasley, Ronnie or something, who quaked under his fierce gaze.

"T-Twelve years," the boy spluttered, defensive. "He-He's got a long lifespan, he's magical or something...he's been in my family forever!"

"And his toe? He's missing one, isn't he?" the animagus crept forward, feeling his chest rumble as he locked his eyes on the rat, which had begun to struggle furiously. "All they found left of Pettigrew was…"

"A finger," whispered the second girl, Hermione, horrorstruck.

"A finger," Remus concluded, nodding, and he carefully reached out, trying to keep his tone soothing when Sirius could see clearly his own restrained fury. "Now, if you let us test it, just to see, we can prove it. If it's a normal rat, it won't be harmed."

Harry's emerald eyes flitted back and forth, before he commanded quietly, "Give them the rat, Ron."

"What?" the redhead jolted, startled and a bit offended. "Harry—"

"Give them the rat," Carina also demanded, gaze trained upon Sirius, never once wavering. The two together were enough to make Ron slowly pass the rat to Remus, but it immediately nipped at his fingers, squealed, and made to run.

The werewolf tossed Sirius a wand, whose, he did not know (though he would later discover it was his daughter's), but it was warm in his hand as he and Remus lunged at the same time, the latter of the two catching the rat with a spell.

The rat morphed into a plump, scraggly looking man with watery blue eyes, and he twitched nervously when the men advanced on him.

"N-Now Remus, S-Sirius," he hastily stuttered, flinching when their cold eyes landed upon him. "Come, now, I had to save m-myself, he would have killed me!"

"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!" Sirius could not stop himself from roaring, making a dash around the table for Peter, who scrambled back and as far away as he could reach, eyes darting about frantically, looking for a way to escape. "DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY THEM, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!"

"I think it's time we end this now, shall we?" interrupted Remus, finally, _finally_ giving Sirius what he wanted as they held the wands aloft.

It was just luck that everything went to hell when Severus Snape burst in.

~~~xxx~~~

 _The second time Sirius saw his daughter, she was sliding off the back of a Hippogriff, accompanied by Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, hurrying to his cell in the tower._

"Bombarda!" cried the brunette without preamble, and Sirius ducked out of the way of the rubble, scrambling to his feet as he regarded the hole where the cell door used to be. He marveled at the fact that a girl that young could do such a thing.

"You really are the brightest witch of your age," he told her. "And, Harry," he put a hand on the boy's shoulder, and Harry looked positively delighted at the contact, at _him._ It made Sirius feel guilty that he would have to leave. "perhaps, someday, we can all be a family together. You know, you look just like your father, but—"

"With my mum's eyes," Harry finished, though he grinned faintly. "I know."

Sirius squeezed his shoulder once, before moving onto Carina, who was standing there with her arms dangling at her sides, unsure as he approached and crouched before her, resting both hands on her shoulders.

"And you," Sirius regarded his daughter, his own flesh and blood, and was struck with how alike they looked. "You look just like me," he smiled at her, but noticed something else. "I couldn't have been happier to meet you, Carina. I'm proud of you."

He had taken note how she flinched when his hands came into contact with her, but he filed that away for later, instead, as he watched her gray eyes shine in the moonlight.

"You need to go," Carina said softly, and she did not look at all happy about it. "I'm glad we didn't kill you," she offered him a weak, crooked smile.

Sirius nodded, feeling his heart clench and warm all at was as his throat constricted, and he managed to utter, "So am I," before he could not help but stand and pull her into his arms.

Finally, something felt right, as he cradled her head with one hand and wrapped the other arm around her tightly. The raven haired girl at first went stiff in his embrace, but carefully twined her arms around him after a moment, tucking her face into the crook of his neck.

Sirius breathed in deeply, taking in the scent of his baby girl, who smelt of vanilla and pine, and he tried to commit it to memory. Who knew when he would see her again, if ever?

"You need to go now," Hermione cut in regretfully, and when Carina pulled back, wrapped an arm around the girl, who swallowed hard.

"Alright," the man let out a breath, but he could feel his eyes sting as he made his way to the Hippogriff and hopped on. He surveyed the teenagers who had broken him out, one by one, but as always, his fell back upon Carina Black. "I suppose this is goodbye, for now."

The children all smiled at him, and when he took off, he could just hear a certain girl calling after him, " _Goodbye, dad!"_

That alone made Sirius smile.

~~~xxx~~~

 _The third time he saw his daughter, it was when she had moved in with him just after her fourth year of Hogwarts, and the first night there, she had a nightmare._

Sirius perched on the edge of her bed, unsure as he regarded the fragile looking creature on the other side, sheets tangled around her ankles, raven hair mussed, and knees drawn to her chest.

She was quivering hard, that much he could see, and her cheeks were wet with tears as she tried to hide her face from him, shaking her head.

He could not stand to see her this way. He did not know what horrors she had faced, but he was determined to find out and try to make the rest of her life better after this, ensure that nothing bad would ever happen to her again.

It nearly broke his heart when he finally got her to look at him, and her eyes were wide and actually frightened.

"I'm sorry I woke you up," she whispered, swallowing. "That..it happens sometimes. It's okay."

"No!" Sirius cried, and it was a bit too loud, for she drew back a bit, so he softened his voice. "No, no, it's alright. I never sleep much anyway," he carefully put a hand on her back in an attempt to soothe her, but she flinched so violently that she almost fell from the bed.

When he pulled his hand away, he noticed that her shirt had ridden up to reveal parts of what seemed like some sort of scars.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," he reached out again, cautious. "Can I…"

The raven haired girl blanched, but nevertheless nodded, and Sirius drew up the back of her shirt.

What he saw made him sick, literally.

Bile rose in his throat when he saw where lashes had cut into his daughter's skin, crisscrossing from the tips of her shoulders and seeming to go to at least her hips. The scars were raised above her skin, having not healed properly, and there had to be at least thirty of them.

Sirius's heart really did break, then, especially when Carina slowly peered back at him and saw the mess, wincing at what she had done as she, it seemed, bit back another apology.

"I didn't have any bandages," she defended herself quietly, and actually looked ashamed. "And I'm not very good at healing. So they're rather messy."

"Who did this to you?" Sirius could not stop the question from slipping past his lips, fueled with anger as his suspicions from the year before had been proven true.

Carina seemed to know better than to deny anything, or try to lie. "My foster father," she winced again, and Sirius realized that he needed to save the questioning for after he got her comfortable.

It was obvious, then, how frightened she was from what she had experienced in her mind, and he knew that better than anyone, more than anything.

"Come on," he told her, and led the girl to his room. Once situated on the bed, he could feel his anger ebb away at the sight of her, looking so small as she leaned back against the pillows, fiddling with her fingers. He caught her hands in his own, gently assuring, "It's alright. You're safe here. You'll sleep in here tonight, with me, if that's alright."

"It's fine," Carina said softly, and her eyes shone as they first fell upon their hands, and then his face. She began to explain, then. "He did it last summer. And, when I was l-leaving the other day, I-I..I…"

She stopped, a deer in the headlights look on her face, and her body began to tremble again, furiously, and she buried her face between her knees.

"What?" Sirius could sense something was very wrong here and leaned closer, trying to get her to look at him. "Hey, Carina, love, look at me, come on," she did not look up. "What's wrong?"

" _I think I killed him!"_ she squeaked, and though it was muffled, he heard perfectly, and it made his heart stop.

His little girl, kill someone?

"Alright," the man released a deep breath, forcing himself to stay calm, for he wondered just what the man had done this time. "Tell me what happened."

She did not raise her head, and did not answer at first for a long few moments, before he heard her voice again, " _He-he tried to kill me, first. He wanted t-to put me out of my mi-misery...I didn't want to die!"_ she raised her head, finally, and wide, watery gray eyes regarded him. "I didn't want to die, I didn't...I...the knife was there, he was going to kill me, I couldn't...I didn't want to die. I just stabbed, and stabbed, and stabbed, and then I ran away," Carina swallowed hard, and she looked terrified. "I meant to. I wanted to kill him. I didn't...I don't care if he's dead. Am I a monster? D-Do you hate me?"

Sirius could not stop himself from abruptly reaching out to draw her into his arms, and he held her as close as he could, rubbing light circles on her back (she did not flinch, this time) as he murmured hurriedly, "I could never hate you. Never. You're not a monster, Carina," she sniffled into his shirt, and his heart broke all over again. "He hurt you. If you didn't kill him, I will, myself. He deserves it for what he's done to you, and I'm so...so sorry," he inwardly cursed when his voice cracked, but it could not be helped, now, as tears actually made their way down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry about what's happened to you, and that I could do nothing."

Carina pressed closer, quivering, her body heaving, and he knew she was crying for a multitude of reasons. He could not blame her, honestly, for wanting to kill the man who had hurt her so terribly; he could not blame her for trying, or for not caring if she truly had.

Sirius gently rocked her back and forth, "It's alright, darling, it's alright. Dad's here now, and I'm not going anywhere. I'll protect you. I'll never hurt you. You have a home here for as long as you want, and I'll be here."

The fingers that had been fisted in his shirt slackened their grip after a few long minutes, and as the crying subsided and his daughter slowly began to drift off, Sirius stared at the ceiling.

 _I failed her,_ he could not help but think. _While I was rotting away in Azkaban, she was being shunted around and abused. She's been through so much...I'm barely there, myself. Oh, James, Lily, Marlene, how will I handle this? I have to help her, but how?_

His eyes drifted to the black hair strewn across his chest, and he wrapped his arms more firmly around Carina, pressing a lingering kiss to her temple.

 _Well, however I do, I'll have to try,_ he resolved. _Because I bloody well love this girl, and nothing and no one is going to touch her again._

~~~xxx~~~

 _The fourth time he saw his daughter, two weeks after Carina's arrival, Sirius awoke one morning to find her sitting on the kitchen counter, tipping back a cup of coffee as bacon sizzled in a frying pan._

He found himself a bit at a loss of what to do here, because typically, Kreacher was the one to cook breakfast, and though Sirius knew a bit, he did not understand why she had decided to.

His daughter glanced up at his arrival and grinned, before reaching over, grabbing a spatula, and flipping the bacon. There were other things already cooked, of course, such as eggs and toast, but it seemed that this would take the longest.

"Thought I'd make breakfast instead of Kreacher," Carina greeted, holding out a second mug. Carefully, Sirius took it, and when he saw that it was coffee, smiled (he had soon figured out her love for the drink one morning). "He was walking about, grumbling to himself, and I thought he's grown so tired of me he'd poison the food, so…"

"He's under orders not to," Sirius reassured her, though he finally sat down in a chair. "And he isn't supposed to harm someone from the House of Black, anyway. I've no doubt, however, that if he could, he would."

"I have no doubt, either," Carina shook her head. "He's a mad little bugger, isn't he?"

"You have no idea," the man laughed, though memories of punishments the elf had been allowed to inflict when he was a child came to mind, and the smile faded. Kreacher had enjoyed when Orion would let him whip Sirius, though rarely, for his insolence.

The girl tilted her head to the side at him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Sirius cleared his throat and watched as she took the bacon off the pan and offered him a plate, which he accepted. "Thank you."

"You know," Carina settled down in the place across the table. "I may be a kid, but it doesn't mean you have to hide things. I…" she looked down, and her fist clenched on the tabletop briefly. "I know what it looks like when someone hasn't had the best home life. You hate it here."

Sirius picked at his food for a moment, before sighing and deciding that, perhaps, honesty was the best policy, and that he should just tell her things. She had already seen and experienced so much, and there were still things she needed to know…

"You're right," he agreed. "My home life wasn't the best. I won't get into details, of course, but I had a...similar situation to yours, though I was always here. When I was sixteen, I ran away to the Potters', and they took me in. They were like a second family."

Carina's eyes roved across his face, and she reached across the table to grasp his hand. "You're my family. I'll protect you, too."

Sirius swallowed, the mere thought of his daughter going to battle sending a shock through him, and while his stomach churned uncomfortably at the thought, she was sincere, and he smiled at her anyway. "I know you would. But, I'm the one who has to do the protecting, remember? Let yourself be looked after. I'm your father, it's my job."

The raven haired girl offered him a smile as well, but did not draw her hand away, instead stared in almost wonder and reached out her other hand to fiddle with his fingers, long and rough and calloused. His heart warmed at the action. "Harry should be here. His family aren't the nicest, either. Mrs. Weasley didn't believe it, but they had bars on his window one year, and I got out of him that he'd lived in the cupboard under the stairs," she paused, frowning. "Don't tell him I said that. I'm only worried."

"I understand," Sirius told her. He would give her the world if she so wished it, so this? This was nothing.

He resolved, then, to look after Harry even more than he already was, as best as he could. It was the least he could to for James's son.

~~~xxx~~~

 _The fifth time he saw his daughter, it was in the Black family library, where she spent a good bit of her time lately._

"So, do you play Quidditch?" Sirius found himself asking Carina one day, as they both reclined back in chairs in the library. He caught her reading a spellbook that most definitely had nothing to do with Quidditch, but he could not judge her for wanting to know more to defend herself, to do what she could.

 _I'll have to give her some lessons before the summer is out,_ he resolved.

"Hmm?" the girl glanced up at him, a bit startled, before sitting the book aside and sprawling further out in her armchair. "Yes. I'm a Chaser, have been since second year. Harry is Seeker, youngest in a century, actually," she cracked a smile.

"I heard," Sirius leaned back in his chair and laughed as his daughter's head hung over the edge of the seat as she regarded him, upside down. "I was a Beater, myself, and quite a good one, I'd like to add."

"Our Beaters are Fred and George," Carina supplied with a laugh. "The Wonder Twins. They work very well together; I've always liked Chaser, though. It's what I'm good at."

"Marlene was a Chaser, too," Sirius told her, and the witch visibly jumped at the name, eyes widening almost comically. He could feel his heart twist at the thought of poor, poor Marlene, murdered with the rest of her family in a Death Eater raid, lost defending their daughter…

 _No._ he shook his head. Now was not the time.

"She was a damn good one, at that," the animagus continued. "The best, _I_ always said. She was always so strategic-she watched the other team like a hawk, found their weaknesses, and exploited them. She even taught the other Chasers different, though rather underhanded, ways to trick the other teams into all but giving them the ball." he sighed wistfully, imagining her dark hair blowing behind her as she flew through the air. "She was amazing."

"She sounds like it," Carina nodded along, her lips curling up a bit, before she sighed as well. "I wish I could have met her. How...how did she die?"

Sirius flinched at the word die, and just as his mind was about to suck him into the memory of the day he found her on the floor, broken and bent and utterly destroyed, he pinched himself hard.

"There was a raid," he said finally. "I wasn't there with her, but she was having some sort of family gathering, and she took you with her. You were a couple of months old, at most. Death Eaters swarmed the home, begun destroying everything in their paths, and your mother was at the center of it all, defending you. I-I found her after it...after...she was gone, and you were hidden away. It was a miracle you weren't found. I had to raise you myself, then, and I'd never been luckier than to have James, Lily, and Remus to help me. Everything was amazing, until it wasn't."

"If you had me," Carina slowly sat up, regarding him. "Why did you go after Wormtail?"

Sirius felt a stab of guilt hit him, and he hung his head in shame. "James and Lily were dead, and I didn't know what to do with myself. I just...I was so overcome with grief, with anger, that I couldn't think straight, couldn't see straight, and I acted. It was the worst mistake of my life, Carina, you have to know that," he leaned forward, earnest. "I never would have left, had I known…"

There were a long few moments of silence, moments during which Sirius wondered if she were going to get up and yell, or scream.

She didn't.

"I think," she started in a carefully controlled voice, obviously attempting not to yell at him, despite how she wanted to, as she clasped her hands together between her knees. "That if I were in your position, I might have done the same. My friends are everything to me. What's done is done," Carina let out a breath, but he could see the angry red tint to her cheeks. "And I-I forgive you."

Sirius felt himself sink back in relief.

Thank Merlin.

~~~xxx~~~

 _The sixth time he saw her, she was turning her hand into a paw._

"Whoa," exclaimed Sirius when he entered the girl's room. "Bloody hell, what are you doing?"

Carina hid the paw behind her back and offered him a too-wide grin. "Nothing."

Sirius pointed at her. "Don't try to hide things from me, young lady."

The girl raised her brows, but groaned and moved her arm, revealing the black, furry arm and paw that her right arm from the elbow down had turned into. When he looked closer, he thought he could just see part of an ear peeking out from beneath her hair on her head, and one pant leg looked suspiciously looser than the other.

"I've been trying since the beginning of third," Carina admitted, though a bit reluctantly. "I thought this time I'd actually get it down."

"You've been trying to become an animagus," Sirius gaped at her, unable to believe that she had been hiding this from him the entire time. He also couldn't believe how mad it was that she was following in his footsteps before she had even known what he was. "and you didn't _tell me?"_

"I thought you'd tell me to stop!" she defended. "And I've been working too hard to just quit. I need to keep going and get the final transformation…"

First of all, the process of turning into an animagus required time, effort, and lots of work. Sirius knew, because he and James and Pettigrew had all attempted it during _their_ third year and gotten it done by fifth, as well. The coincidence was crazy.

She was far more clever than he had given her credit for.

"Well," Sirius crossed his arms, hiding a smirk at her grumble. "I _am_ a full animagus, so I suppose I could help, if I wanted...I don't know, I rather like the look of you this way."

"I want to be able to walk without hobbling!" Carina glared at him. "And to stop hearing things strangely. Are you going to help me, or not?"

"Sure," he casually shrugged, and he took his sweet time walking to her side of the room.

The witch only glowered at him again through her hair.

"Alright," instructed Sirius. "Relax, close your eyes, and envision your human self again. Picture your arm, how it's supposed to look, feel, and so on."

Carina closed her eyes, and when nothing happened, opened one, but he waved for her to shut it again.

"Concentrate. Unless you want to be stuck a deformed whatever you are for the rest of your life…"

The girl huffed at him, but he noticed the ears on top of her head disappear, and her arm and leg slowly return to normal. It was a gradual process, but it had worked.

"There," Sirius put his hands on his hips and nodded satisfactorily. "Now, you thought I'd tell you not to? That would be awful hypocritical of me, wouldn't it, when I did the same thing at your age."

Carina's cheeks tinted pink. "I forgot about that."

Sirius laughed at her. "Of course you did. That's alright, I understand," she was used to doing things on her own, and he really did get it. He would just have to instill into her that he was there to help. "Now, how about you try the transformation again?"

It took two weeks, but when his baby girl finally shifted and gave him an eager, wolfish (oh, how similar the two of them were) grin, Sirius concluded that it was very much worth it.

~~~xxx~~~

 _The seventh time he saw her, Sirius had made some questionable choices that day and everything had gone completely insane._

Sirius watched as the portrait of his mother, Walburga, screamed at his daughter, telling her how much of a blood traitor she was, a stain to the House of Black, etc.

He had decided to let her drink Firewhisky for her fifteenth birthday with him to celebrate, and as this was her first time with alcohol, especially some this strong, it did not take long for her to get completely plastered and Sirius to dutifully follow, though he supposed he shouldn't have.

However, it was just the two of them, always cooped up in here, so why couldn't he let her have some fun?

"YOU OLD HAG!" Carina screamed back at his mother. "IF YOU WERE STILL ALIVE, I'D KILL YOU AGAIN!"

She leveled her wand at the portrait, and there was a bang. Sirius had initially flinched at first, but when he opened his eyes and saw his mother in the painting in nothing but a frilly pink bikini, he was not sure to laugh or be deeply disturbed.

He decided on laughter, instead, and Carina turned to him with a satisfied grin, stowing away her wand into the invisible holster he had Remus order for her. She loved the thing, and he was glad.

Kreacher rounded the corner, looking appropriately frustrated and exhausted from all of their pranks, and he made to scold them, but the minute he saw Walburga Black, he began screeching alongside the woman, attempting to jerk the curtains closed.

"YOU INSOLENT LITTLE BRAT! JUST WAIT—"

"KREACHER IS TRYING, MISTRESS, OH, WHAT HAVE THEY DONE—"

"I'LL STRING YOU UP BY YOUR ANKLES—"

Sirius only laughed harder, unable to help himself, and grabbed Carina to rush them down the hall when Kreacher finally got the curtains to close. They raced together through the dark halls, slipping and sliding and shoving one another, and at a few points, he was sure they had knocked over a few priceless artifacts, but what did he care? He hated the place, anyway.

Once having sufficiently escaped Kreacher, they collapsed in a heap in the kitchen floor, leaning against each other for support.

"That was fun!" Carina snickered, panting. "You're fun, dad."

"I am, aren't I?" slurred Sirius, flinging an arm around her shoulders. "Dad of the year!"

"No way!" she shook her head vigorously, and when finished, stopped for a moment, swaying where she sat, eyes wide. Finally, she managed to tell him, "Any other old dad woulda said no, but you said yes, and you got your kid drunk!"

That sent her into another fit of giggles, and Sirius only laughed. "I had m' first drink when I was your age. It's m'kay."

"If you say so," she fell back against the cool tile, turning her head to press her cheek against it. "Daddy?"

"Hmm?" Sirius flopped back beside her with a grunt.

"I love you," Carina flung an arm across his chest, and he grunted again at the impact.

However, he found himself grinning wildly at her words, his heart feeling as though it were about to explode as he twisted around to clumsily pull her in for a hug, kissing her cheeks and her forehead over and over again in his joy.

Carina squirmed in his hold, squeaking under the attention, though she finally managed to laugh, "Stop, stop!"

"I love you too, baby," Sirius held her to his chest, unwilling to let her go, and she seemed to realize, for she went limp against him and curled closer. "So much."

The girl only yawned in response, the product of how long they had been drinking (all day) and the shenanigans they had gotten up to.

Sirius found himself growing tired as well and pulled his other arm up to rest under his head, feeling his eyes begin to droop.

Remus Lupin found them hours later in the kitchen floor, fast asleep and in a tangled mess of limbs, and though he almost couldn't bring himself to (he had taken a few pictures first), he woke them.

~~~xxx~~~

 _The eighth time he saw her, she was training with he and Remus in the basement, which they had cleared out for just this purpose._

Carina hunched over her cauldron, tongue poking out, and her raven hair sticking up at odd angles. It was the first time Sirius had seen her, given how early it was in the morning, and it was quite possibly the most adorable thing he had ever seen. Her look of pure concentration as she stirred her potion and dropped ingredients into the cauldron was nothing short of endearing.

"Dad!" she glanced up, a bit startled, but she had heard his arrival easily enough. Her animagus form had given her enhanced senses like his own, and she was still getting used to them.

"Morning, beautiful," Sirius greeted, and he truly meant it, taking joy in the fact that her cheeks flushed and she smiled at him. He was happy to be able to make her do that; she really was a stunning witch, sure to be a knockout when she was older. Oftentimes, he wondered how he had even had a part in creating such a wonderful creature, if he even deserved her.

Sirius shook his head and moved himself around the side of her workspace, so that he could perch on the edge of the table Remus was leaning against. "Hello, Moony. How's it going?"

"She's almost finished," Remus informed him. "After this, she has to let it sit out for a bit, which is when we'll move it to the side and start dueling."

Sirius rubbed his hands together, for he had been eagerly awaiting this moment. "Great!"

Remus chuckled at him.

When Carina finished and the potion and such were indeed moved away, she began her first duel with Remus; things went fairly quickly, of course. The werewolf was winning again and again in different ways, but there had been a few odd times Carina had managed to outsmart him and knock him on his arse.

Just the thought made Sirius grin as he stepped up to duel her, this time, wand ready. She copied his stance, tensing in anticipation, and when her father shot off a few spells, managed to successfully duck and dodge them.

Carina was getting better, noted Sirius, as he shielded himself from a particularly overpowered bombarda. And a lot less shy about using more powerful spells to take out her opponent.

He and Remus had told her that if she needed to kill, do it. If she needed to hurt someone, do it. Incapacitating the enemy would ensure that they could no longer get up to cause you any trouble for the time being, and it was helpful.

She had certainly taken it to heart.

When Sirius stunned her, she was disappointed, grumbling to herself, "When will I ever get good enough to stun you? I never actually stunned Remus, just stuck him to the wall a few times."

That was true. She had managed to glue Remus to the wall twice, and once, had even trapped him to the floor and then disarmed him.

Sirius reached out to brush her damp raven hair from her face.

"You will," he reassured her. "You're really very good, you know. Better than others your age, I'd expect—we're just trying to prepare you for the worst."

"Thanks, dad," Carina offered him a grateful smile, before she backed up abruptly, raised her wand, and called out firmly, "AGAIN!"

Sirius barked out a laugh and got into position.

~~~xxx~~~

 _The ninth time he saw Carina, she had been living in his home for a whole summer, and everyone else had already begun to move in._

Carina smiled adoringly at Hermione Granger, something Sirius did not miss when the girl first entered the room and flung herself at his daughter for a hug.

He had never seen her as happy as when she was with her friends, he thought, as he watched her get spun around by Ron, hoisted onto the shoulders of Fred and George, and then get another hug from Ginny.

Her eyes were alight as they all spoke at once, animatedly, talking over one another in their haste to get their stories out, and finally, later on that night, he had the delight of watching them all enter the kitchen in a bundle, laughing and shoving each other.

They took their seats at the table, began to eat their food, and Sirius could not help but chuckle when Carina plucked a straw from the counter, stuffed it in her glass, caught his eye, and blew bubbles in her chocolate milk.

Hermione scolded, "Carina!" but she was laughing along, especially when Fred and George joined in, and even Mrs. Weasley could not keep the smile off her face as she chided them.

Carina's grin was a positively delighted one when, as Mrs. Weasley wasn't looking, she managed to get the brunette to blow bubbles in her own, just once. However, she blew a bit too hard into the straw, and when chocolate milk splashed Hermione's face, the raven haired girl sniggered and offered a napkin.

"It requires a bit more skill than you have, I think, Mione," she told the other witch, who rolled her eyes, though fondly.

"Yes, of course," Hermione agreed sarcastically, though her lips twitched. "My queen certainly has a boundless amount of talents, and blowing perfect bubbles in her chocolate milk is one of them."

Carina's grin only widened, and she leaned back in her chair, crossed her arms, and nodded with a rather smug air about her that had Hermione slapping her arm.

The Weasleys only laughed, and Sirius hoped that her feelings came to light soon, because she and Hermione would make a good couple, or, at least, that was his opinion.

It didn't really matter, though. He just wanted her to be happy.

~~~xxx~~~

 _The tenth time he saw his daughter, she was in a group of angry teenagers, arguing with the adults about their choices._

"We deserve to know!" Carina was agreeing with Harry fervently, leaning forward in her seat after Mrs. Weasley. Her voice was rather loud, but nowhere near Harry's previous yelling he had heard when the boy first arrived here. "We've seen a lot, don't you think we should at least get to know part of what's going on out there?"

"Or all of it, preferably," Harry added quickly, and Hermione and Ron looked distinctly uncomfortable, but stood their ground behind their friends, supporting them, because they wanted to know, too. It was obvious.

"Exactly!"

"No!" Mrs. Weasley cried, frustrated. "No, I say no to all of it! You're just children, and this is something for the adults; go upstairs!"

"We're of age!" Fred and George both protested at once.

Sirius knew the woman was only trying to protect him, that she was trying to help most of the time, in her own way, but she had begun to irritate him thus far. When emerald and gray eyes both shot to him at once, immediately pleading with him, he knew it was time to speak his mind.

"I think they should know," Sirius said firmly.

"Sirius!"

"They should!"

"No," Mrs. Weasley snapped. "Do you not remember what Dumbledore said about not telling Harry anything more than he _needs to know?"_

"And I won't tell him anything more than he needs to know," Sirius grew irritated even more, especially when he and the woman continued to bicker and she brought up things that she really shouldn't have. It especially crossed a line when she told him how to parent his daughter.

"Don't think I don't know what you two get up to around here," the redhead waved an arm at him. "Underage drinking, casting spells when she's not supposed to be...this isn't how you raise a child, Sirius!"

The wizard scowled at her, coldly reminding her, "She's not your daughter, Molly, so you've no right to come into my home and tell me how I should and shouldn't be raising her."

"She's as good as!" Mrs. Weasley hotly repeated her words from earlier about Harry, and Carina's eyes darted back and forth between the two, her cheeks tinted pink. Sirius supposed it was from both anger and embarrassment. "All of you, upstairs, now!"

One by one, grumbling and stomping, the Weasleys filed off, Hermione and a reluctant Harry in tow; it did not escape anyone's notice that Carina stayed.

"Carina, dear," Mrs. Weasley attempted to usher her out. "Go on, upstairs. You don't need to hear this."

"All due respect, Mrs. Weasley," Carina did not budge as she spoke. "You're not my mother. Dad is great, and this _is his_ house, and I _am his_ daughter. He can tell me whatever he wants to."

"Actually, maybe you _should_ get to bed, it's late," Sirius shot Mrs. Weasley a look as he herded his unusually silent daughter from the room; she ducked her head, looking completely ashamed.

Once out of earshot, Carina raised her head and whispered, "You're telling me everything anyway later, aren't you?"

"Of course!" Sirius responded quietly, as though it were obvious. "There _are_ things you need to know, whether they want you to or not, and you're free to tell the others after I've come to inform you. Alright?"

"Got it," his baby girl grinned at him, before moving to stomp up the stairs as the others had, intending on sounding furious to dupe the other adults.

Sirius leaned back and chuckled.

Yes, she was certainly his child.

~~~xxx~~~

 _The last time Sirius saw Carina, it was in the Department of Mysteries with her friends, Death Eaters swarming them._

She drew up beside him to duel, watching carefully as Harry helped Remus dispatch a man off to the side.

Carina was fighting quite well, and though not very viciously, much more so than her classmates, having no qualms whatsoever about sending a Death Eater slamming into the wall.

Sirius could never have been more proud, quite frankly, even as he grabbed her and ducked behind a rock.

"You've done beautifully," he told her, and when rubble fell down upon them, instinctively shielded her from the blow. When he pulled back, Carina was gazing up at him with a frown on her face. "But let me handle it from here. I promised I'd protect you, and I'd like to do my job without having to worry," he offered her a small, quick smile.

Carina nodded her head and opened her mouth, obviously about to agree, but then, her arm snapped up to hastily deflect a spell that would have hit Sirius in the back, and the two were hurrying to their feet to fight.

It seemed that escaping was out of the question, at least, until they got rid of Lucius and Rabastan; Sirius was glad she had caught the curse when she did, and he was proud she had reacted so quickly. He had trained her well.

She was powerful, like any Black, and that raw power gave her the potential to be so much more than what she was. It almost reminded him of Bellatrix, who had always been far too powerful for her own good, far too skilled, and she had known it, flaunted it. They even looked a bit alike, but the similarities ended there.

Carina Black was an amazing witch, Sirius thought, watching her ram Rabastan back with a flipendo, fire off the disarming charm, and then a stunner that caught him in the face.

Sirius smirked and disarmed Lucius, who looked appropriately astonished for a moment, before he, too, caught a stunner and fell.

"Good job, love!" he called to Carina (who had looked proud of herself, and rightly so), and just as he turned, he caught the horror struck look on his daughter's face as everything seemed to move in slow motion.

The green light was headed straight for him, and there was no way to dodge, no way to summon anything to block it; there was no time for any of it.

His eyes sought her out again, his baby girl, his Carina, and her mouth opened, crying out to him; he tried to smile, to let her know that it was alright.

The last thing Sirius Black saw was his daughter, and then, he was drifting into oblivion.


End file.
